the world keeps turnin

my dad opened my eyes to something the other day. see, my perspective has changed a lot lately, and i actually admitted to him that i'm glad they moved to california, and i'm also glad they moved when i was younger. because looking back, i think it made me stronger, and made me appreciative, and realize that things can be unexpectly taken from you, and that can be completely out of your hands.

for a long time, i thought the world should stop for me since my parents were moving and i was losing my house. i guess that's a normal reaction--when you're having a hard time--you sort of want time to stop for you for awhile until things are back on track. but what i've realized is, that doesn't happen at all. so by complaining, by waiting for people to pity you, you are really just wasting your own time.

what i've learned from this whole ordeal is--my family--2,000 miles away or 200, is still my family. sure, we're not as comfortable as we used to be. we lost a great house at 6 s. 211 marblehead court. when i go home now, i don't exit on naperville road. whatever. i've realized all of that is petty stuff.

there is nothing comfortable about change, that's for sure. but what i have to realize is that even though my parents were across the country for a year, they'd hop on a plane to indy in a second if i needed them to. and here i was, for a year, bitching to them about living far, complaining that i had to fly home, and meanwhile they were just doing what was best for my brother and i, supporting us and trying to stay positive.

i mean what really matters, physical proximity, or emotional availability?

i guess the lesson is--don't expect the world to stop for you when you're having a hard time. trust me, it won't. there's no sense wandering in circles when you could be looking ahead, and getting somewhere.