Tuesday, August 14, 2007

renewed my lease!

well... i have absolutely learned to love chicago. it's been almost a year since i've been down here. the only reason i know is because i renewed my lease, seriously. i feel like it was just yesterday i moved down here.

everytime i get upset about paying my rent i think about the times i walk home and it's just me and the city lights. and i realize this is where i am meant to be, right here, right now.

i have been through a lot of changes. almost all good changes. and even the bad--turned out to be good. life really does always go on.

i'm so happy with where i am right now and i have so many people to thank for that. i'm so thankful to god for teaching me independence, i'm so thankful to my parents for believing in me no matter what, and i'm so incredibly thankful to my friends for helping me through any tough time i've come across. or even a happy time--acknowledging that. seriously, i know i don't say it enough but i hope that you all know what you mean to me. this has been one of the best years of my life, and i could not have done it without any of you.

much love.

Monday, August 06, 2007

blast from the past

found an old journal in a drawer tonight. and i found an old entry, well, a few old entries, that i just want to make sure "stick around." i used to believe in writing by hand instead of typing, since computers are not necessarily reliable, and i think there's something to say about things that are handwritten. but i've changed my mind about all that. maybe it's caving in to technology, i don't know what to call it. either way, here's some entries from 2004. oh and by the way, the outside of this journal says "do one thing everyday that scares you. -eleanor roosevelt."


do one thing everyday that scares you--interesting concept huh? i bet that you do anyways, but probably not on purpose. i don't know, i think it's a neat little way to remind yourself to live fully, daily. that's why i picked this book up. it just caught me.

one thing i've learned very recently--and i think it's only because i am actually growing up--but how important it is to surround yourself with people whose lifestyles you respect.

people feed off each other unintentionally.
happens all of the time.

it's also so weird how some people just stick with you. like effortlessly. you'll be friends your entire life. you just, for whatever reason, understand each other.

i guess no one can take that away. life is crazy like that. some things never falter.

2.4.04 (separate entry)

wouldn't it be amazing if it were acceptable for people to just let go of inhibitions and tell each other how we feel about them?

it sucks how we're all so scared all of the time.

sure, you'd get some bad stuff. wouldn't the good stuff be worth it though?

twenty people could love me right now and be too scared to speak up. yeah right... but

i think abut how many people i've never told, and the possible things that may have happened if i did. they may not have, but they may have.

and well, there's a lot of room to wonder how much we don't know.

in a way, what a waste... wow.

2.4.04 (l0ve this one, gotta love college)

what is the point of me knowing about linguistics? i want to wite--BUT NOT WRITE A DICTIONARY.

i'm ditching class today--target instead. linguistics is a lot harder to learn about... but Target is a lot more fun.



isn't it sad how you can spend all night or day building thoughts on something--trying to figure it all out... and meanwhile the person/thing you're thinking about could be on the other side of the world--livin' life and havin' fun... with no idea how much you are trying to understand.

it's good to care about everything--but sometimes it's hard.


2.10.04 (i stopped after this for some reason)

i realized in class today that i have a passion for what i'm going to do with my life. it really gets to me when people are close-minded about their interests as opposted to other people's because people are SO diffeent. i may not be a math major, or a prelaw major and maybe math people and lawyers are viewed as successful... but to be honest, i could care less about being viewed as successful. i want to be viewed as myself.

i've just heard comments on that sort of thinglately. my parents never pressured me toward success--but always told me to follow my heart.

senior year in college, in english 515, i find out that not only were they right...
i listened to them.