Thursday, March 31, 2005

the w w w

in a short summary: my hard drive erased. my computer crashed. a new one is on the way but AIM withdrawl is almost killing me.

so i am working these days and we listen to the radio all day long... and i am learning to love it because we don't listen to like so-called "hip" music but moreso mix type stations so i hear a combination of a) songs i haven't heard in forever that i like hearing once in awhile and b) songs i would normally change the station but now i'm actually forced to listen to them since i'm not alone in the office and can't do that.

and i've learned a little. i mean, i hate the radio. i hate it. i think it ruins music, and i think overall, it is a bad thing. but i'm kinda starting to appreciate it for it's randomness, if for nothing else. and by the way, this doesn't include all radio stations.

but okay, this song "Breathe (2 am) by Anna Nalick... i have heard it i can't even tell you how many times in my life and i know it's fairly new, so that's sad, but i guess i've never really listened. the lyrics are really really complex. i kinda love it.

aside from that i like this job, it' s just temporary, but it's laid back and it's some money... and it's less stressful than the one i had to quit. so i'm happy. and i think pretty soon here this job i've been shooting for is going to make me an offer, so i'm very content for now.

my graduation party's this weekend. i'm excited, mostly to have all of my friends in one place. that doesn't happen too often, and i have a feeling that good times are ahead. i don't even care that it's my party, i am just glad to be able to see everyone together. sometimes i wish we didn't live in such a big, busy, country so things like this could happen more often. but i guess that's what makes them so great, too.

anyway, this is my attempt to recover from IM withdrawl. i'm not sure a blog quite does the trick... but hey, it's some interaction i guess. i'll be on soon!

2 am and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer
inside of me, threatening the life they belong to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Thursday, March 24, 2005

This song is genius.

Ah the night--there it comes again
It's on with the jeans, the jacket, and the shirt
How'd I end up feeing so bad
for such a little girl

And I hold you close in the back of my mind
Feels so good, but damn it makes me hurt

I'm too scared to know how I feel about you know
La Cienega just smiled... I'll see you around.

I'll hold you close in the back of my mind
Raise my glass cause either way I'm dead
Neither of you really help me to sleep anymore
One breaks my body
and the other breaks my soul
La Cienga just smiles...and waves goodbye.

Ah the night here it comes again
Off with the jeans, the jacket, and the shirt
How'd I end up feeling so bad
for such a little girl

I'll hold you close in the back of my mind
Feels so good but damn it makes me hurt
I'm too scared to know how I feel about you now
La Cienega just smiles and says,
I'll see you around.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

quarter life

so i saw this ad on craigslist:

and i decided that this was right up my alley. so i gave it a shot. i like david sedaris, i like writing, and i'm 23 and a recent grad. perfect right? well, here's what i came up with anyways:

Post-College Reflections and Farewells

Well, it's been about two months for me now since graduation and needless to say, it's an adjustment. I spent 4.5 valuable years of my life at Purdue University mastering not only a degree, but the beer bong, the tailgate, and strategies as to how to cut in the late-night Taco Bell line. So, where am I now?

Well, at the least I can say that I've learned a few things about college versus real life. I mean, you go from living within walking distance of everyone you know along with every restaurant and store you know to... living alone, or in my case, living with your parents. And the whole parents thing is interesting because, I really don't think they realize where I have been for the past 4.5 years. I don't think they quite understand that I was actually living on my own that whole time, without any substitute parents, and when I came back two months ago, I didn't magically turn 18 years old again.

Where are you going? What time will you be back? Do you know where the portable phone is? I mean really, those were all valid questions 5 years ago, but I'm pretty sure a curfew isn't valid anymore.

The job thing isn't going so well either. I got a job offer about two weeks out of college and I thought, "Wow, this degree thing really works," and told them no. Haven't had a job offer since. Go figure. Big shot with the degree--not so much. But I've been interviewing, I've been stalking and like they were the cute guy in my English class, but nothing's really happened so far.

Of course, instant messenger is still in effect for me and my fellow graduates. Still our main form of communication, in fact. But I fear for the day people start to get real lives and abandon their screen names. How am I to know that they are alive and breathing? Or sleeping, eating--walking down the hallway at a medium pace to the bathroom to charge their electric toothbrush--depending on their current away message? I mean, aren't these things important to anyone else after we graduate?

I guess the lesson learned is that as we start this new chapter of life, there are certain things we are just going to have to abandon. And let me give these things the utmost respect as I bid them farewell because they have been nothing but good to me throughout the past 4.5 years and I will miss them greatly. With that--goodbye beer bong, tailgate. Goodbye Taco Bell line. Farewell carefree lifestyle and stalking boys. Goodbye instant messager. Thank you for completing my collegiate life and for all the countless memories(and keeping me up to date on my high school boyfriend's life for the past four years without him knowing a thing).


so that's that, my feelings on it are that i really could care less if it's published or not, or even if they like it. i just thought it would be a fun thing to write. so if it gets published, bonus. if not, well, at least it did on my blog. haha.