Tuesday, November 28, 2006

2 years? Really, 2 years?

as of 1 hour ago, i am officially 25 years old. 25. i remember when that meant that you were... old.

now people are trying to convince me that i'm still young.
i'll take it.

anyways, i thought about this older blog of mine today: http://amyj28.blogspot.com/2004_11_01_amyj28_archive.html becuase for some strange reason i remember the title of it all the time when I think about my birthday. and today i realized... wow, i need 2 boxes of candles now. where did the time go?

i mean i'm obviously using candles as an analogy, who cares, they're a dollar a box right? and whos really going to notice that one extra from the new box?

but i just don't feel like that was two years ago. time is starting to really fly. everyone told me it would. and i guess i didn't believe them until about 73 minutes ago when i reread that blog. wow. 2 years ago i was getting ready to graduate college. i found myself asking... was that really two years ago?

and i started to think about the present... the things that have happened in the past two years of my life.
the things that have changed.
the places i've lived, the things i've accomplished, the things i've failed to accomplish yet.
and the people i've been lucky enough to keep around, all this time.

i love reflection points.

a lot of times they happen for me on birthdays or new years--it's like a little unannounced marking point in life where you actually remember where you were at this point last year... and it's kind of sanitizing in a way to look at your life in hindsight and realize what you've done with it.

what a sustaining thing to be able to do.

i mean we all know we can't change the past... but we can certainly always improve upon our past. better ourselves, better the world, and better the people around us.

i know my life motto might change from time to time, but my newest thing that i think about always is how important it is to leave your mark on this world. i mean, it doesn't have to be a monument in DC, it doesn't have to be handprints in hollywood, or even your name being published somewhere in some small town newspaper. i mean, leave a piece of your character in whatever way you know best. maybe it's by telling unforgettable jokes. maybe it's by writing a bestselling novel, or maybe it is by becoming a senator or a moviestar... that's up to each one of us. all i know is this: there's no better time than now to start leaving a mark.... and the thing is, we probably all already are, without even knowing it.

it's been a wonderful year once again, and i'm extremely thankful for my family and friends, who honestly, help me through every hard day, and even every easy day, just by taking my mind off the daily grind. i can't imagine my life any differently than it is at this point, and i know i'm so lucky for that. and to be loved. and remembered on my birthday.

here's to twenty-five wonderful years.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

six weeks in the city

i need to get better at writing more.

i guess in a way it's a good thing, it means nothing has been overwhelmingly driving me insane, but i also realize it's just as important to write about the good as to write about the bad. it's just easier to write about the bad, for some reason. maybe that's why i like sad music. whos to say?

well, i've been downtown for 6 weeks now and i really couldn't be happier. living by myself is... great. having something to call my own is great. having about 75% of my best friends within 2 miles is great. seriously, i saw 5 friends in the course of two days this weekend. i had three over! that didn't happen that much when i lived at home since everyone was moving down here... and we're all pretty busy. anyways, it's really great to see more of the people i love. and i still see my parents somewhat often too. close enough to everything. and i'm falling in love with my
neighborhood a little more every day. life has really been good to me.

i'm really grateful that i've stayed in touch so well with my friends from high school. we're incredibly close, it's really an amazing thing. we're there for each other at the drop of a hat. and when i think about the fact that we've been friends for ten years it blows my mind. anyways, they make me so happy and i'm so glad to have them in my life. so glad.

i finished up my first class, still waiting on my grade. as of this tuesday i'll be starting two new ones, so i'm going to be pretty busy. taking one class wasn't too tough, but taking two is going to be tougher. not only that, but we're really picking things up at work and taking on two clinical studies instead of one. i pretty much have my hands full with the heart disease and depression study, and now we're adding a bipolar one that requires a lot of attention. so needless to say, i'm going to be pretty booked, but it will all be worth it. i really like learning i've realized, both at school and at work. i can't even believe i've been at loyola a year and a half. i was filling out my paperwork today for medical insurance, etc. and i was like "wow, i can't believe it's time to do this already." time flies. i've made friends there though and more importantly, i think i've established myself as capable of my career which took awhile. it's hard to convince doctors that you can do clinical research when you have a bachelor of arts. it took awhile, but they trust me now and see that i'm keeping up with everything, and really learning my job inside and out. so that feels good. one of the residents wrote me an email friday just letting me know i was doing a really good job. it honestly made my day. i think too often at work and in life we're so quick to criticize, but not nearly as quick to compliment. i appreciated getting a thoughful email for once instead of a technical one. it was a nice break from the normal routine.

i'm almost 25. pretty crazy, just a few more weeks! i don't feel 25. i guess i don't know what 25 is supposed to feel like, but i know i still feel young. most of the time anyways. sometimes i think about the fact that some of my friends are married and whatnot, and i mean i guess everyone is different, but i just think for me personally, i'm still trying to figure out my life. and not that i've had the opportunity to get married or anything haha... but like what i'm saying is i think i need to finish school, establish myself in my career, figure out where i want to live, and figure out what's important to me in life. i mean i'm half there, but i'm not all the way there. i can't imagine being married right now personally, just because of that. i'm still pretty independent as far as my thinking goes. at the same time, i'm really happy for all of my friends that are married/engaged. they're all really great couples that compliment each other. and they're all at that place in their life as well. i'm just not at all. but that's okay. people progress differently i guess.

i'm so excited the holidays are coming! i love christmas and thanksgiving. i love getting together with my family and how everything is so traditional... i can't wait to get out the christmas music, see downtown become ready for the holidays, see the lights downtown naperville, go shopping for my family and friends... put a little tree up in my place. i can't wait. the holidays make me so happy! it's like the time of year you set aside to remember what's important to you. and you forget about work, and the hecticness of everyday life and just enjoy your family and your company. i'm so glad it's coming.

winter... is another story. i hate being cold. :) but it's worth it for christmas. that's all for now. just an update. really, i'm going to start writing more. but, things are going great and i love you all.