Friday, September 24, 2004

life's craziness

lacking inspiration lately due to 2 tests and 2 papers this week... and the lack of effort i put towards those kind of tells me i shouldn't be putting forth a whole bunch on here.

so i graduate college in 3 months. that's crazy. i'm ready to go i mean, i'll miss it, i love purdue, i'll miss a lot of people... but there's a lot i need to get away from too. i'm ready for the next step.

i've been putting together a portfolio and it's kinda weird to see 4 years of your work all together. it's kind of like "wow, this is really it. time to grow up. time to get out of here. time to move on."

see it's weird, i like the idea of new beginnings, i hate the idea of change. is that contradictory? i can't really figure it out. but there's something i like about making a new impression, starting fresh... at the same time, i think i find a good deal of comfort in my current lifestyle. i guess it's hard to leave anything behind. i can't really piece it all together quite yet.

i wrote the eulogy for my cousin's funeral today... wow, that was weird. i mean he was my age. i can't get that out of my mind. it's especially sad because to write it i used a letter i'd written my great aunt awhile back when her husband died, and the whole time i just kept thinking "geez, he was 80 something years old... and my cousin was 22, and i'm writing the same things about them." it's just really crazy to compare the two. that was probably the hardest thing i have ever been asked to write. i never get writers block (well, barely ever) and i had it pretty bad today when my mom asked me to write that. it was hard to put down.

life's just too crazy for me sometimes
you just gotta play it by ear

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