because then i could sleep at night

you know it's always just when you're used to it. just when you're getting used to your life, as is... minus a few people that you swore would never be subtracted, plus a few mistakes you swore you'd never make... but you know you accept that, you take it all in, and you rise above it--and you say to yourself you know what, things have changed...

but i'm okay...

and then, out of the absolute space and void you have gotten so used to, the void you have just accepted and forced yourself to rise above, someone reappears.
and in the beginning this is a good thing right? you're important. they remember. they care. for a minute.

but how is it that it turns into a letdown? i mean really, just leave me alone. i was doing just fine before you decided you wanted to jump right into my reclaimed sense of calm and splash around a little. it shouldn't be allowed, it's not fair. and above all, it's mean.

like they say in good will hunting, "most days i wish i'd never met you. because then i could sleep at night. i wouldn't have to walk around with the knowledge that someone like you was out there..."

and that's exactly what it is...