Thursday, May 28, 2009

this year's love

i knew that someday my favorite song would mean more to me than beautiful lyrics. i knew that someday, i'd come across the right guy and i'd actually understand and feel the lyrics, rather than just admire them.

i'm a lucky girl.

you know, i swear i have never been one of those girls that spent their whole life looking for love. i always sort of believed that it would just happen when the time was right. i'm a strong believer in the fact that if you look too hard for something, you're going to settle for the wrong thing. well,  27 years later, i'm glad i stuck to my instincts. 

you know, i'll admit for awhile it was a little discouraging when everyone was settling down and i knew that i was a good person with a lot to offer, and i just wasn't meeting the right guy.  i'll admit it that when i had my heart broken a couple of times, i wanted to give up. and i'll admit it that nights got lonely a lot of the time. 

none of that matters now.

i can not even begin to explain how much my life has changed in a matter of months. i know some people would, and maybe even do, say that i'm crazy. you know what i say? i don't care. i have never been this happy in my entire life. i can't even believe this is my life right now. it's more than anything i ever imagined. i've always been sensitive, i've always been somewhat of a romantic, and i guess i always had the hope that i'd fall in love... but never the expectation. i think that i've lived by a phrase my entire life, "hope for the best, but expect the worst." a bit of a realist, sure. but you have to be when you don't know what's going to happen.

the point of all of my midnight rambling is this - i am positive i have never been this happy in my entire life. i am certain that i have met the love of my life. i have never had so much in common with someone. never met someone that can make me laugh and have a serious conversation with me within the same ten minutes. someone who accepts me for who i am. someone i want to call at the end of the day, whether i had the best day of my life, or whether i'm ready to give up. someone who would be there for me the second i said i needed him. 

i know this is all so sappy, and i don't know what to say to excuse myself. because it's the way i feel. all of the sudden all of those songs don't seem so silly, all of those movies don't seem so "far fetched." and love doesn't seem so surreal or impossible. 

i'm so happy. i've never been so happy. 

a good friend of mine told me recently, "Love isn't hard." and i couldn't agree more. looking back at my life, and how much i tried to believe in love, it's sad to look back at that. it's hard to remember that, because none of it was real. now i know what's real. it's not hard. it shouldn't be hard. 

you know, i've loved the song "this year's love" since it came out, when i was a senior in high school. i remember hearing it, playing it on repeat, and loving the lyrics. as i got older, i knew i wanted it to be in my wedding, if i ever got married. and now, i know that this year's love for me, is 2009. 

couldn't be happier.

No comments: