christmas

i went down to the christmas tree at daley plaza today. i had such a good day, sitting in pj's until i felt like getting ready, drinking coffee, watching movies, and knowing that later i'd head out to see all of the christmas magic that Chicago brings to me.

i do take it for granted sometimes, and i'm trying not to. i am well aware i won't live here forever. i got a cup of coffee and took the bus to state street. i looked in the macy's windows. i walked over to the daley center and took pictures of the tree, i walked around for awhile. i felt the christmas spirit of this great city.

and it was a great day. i'm so glad i went to see it. i listened to Christmas music the entire time and it made the ride go fast. i looked out the windows at tourists and passerbys and i just took it all in.

i didn't realize it until i was about halfway there, that i just felt like i was missing something. missing something? how? i'm in this gorgeous city where i live, surrounded by trees, decor, spirit... i've been doing this for years.

well, this year's different. my life has changed significantly. i'm fortunate enough to be able to say that i have truly met the love of my life. i am forever changed. i have no doubt in my mind that i am meant to be with Scott and i treasure every minute i am with him. this has easily been the best year of my life. hands down.

when i was young, i was probably sure the best year of my life would be when i turned 13. and then 16. and then 18. and then 21. i would have never guessed it would be the year i turned 28. scott came into my life, and he made me realize how wonderful my life could possibly be. i've always been a happy person, but i can honestly say i have never been this happy. and it just keeps getting better. the more i get to know him, the more i love him, the more i want to be with him. i want to share everything i have with him, and i'd give anything i could possibly give to make him more happy. he makes me a better person, and he loves me exactly the way i am. i've never had to falsify anything with him, and i know that i never will. i feel like the luckiest girl in the world, all of the time.

scott's in florida with his family for Christmas. i'm going to spend time with them the day after. my parents were still sad about me possibly being gone for Christmas, and i'm certainly glad to be able to spend it with them as well. i have fantastic parents and i know i'm extremely lucky for the amount of love i was raised with. it's made me who i am.

but, i will say, today, i wish scott was with me. and it's weird. i'm a pretty independent girl. i don't like the fact that i feel like i "need" someone anytime at all, and i'm not totally comfortable with the idea that i've been doing things like i did today for years, and today i felt like i was missing half of me...

at the same time, i love it, and i wish he was with me holding my hand as i looked at the tree lights. and it may sound cliche, but i just want every moment to be with him. i am so lucky to have met someone that i know is meant for me, and i just can't wait for the future.

and turning 28 was pretty painless and natural for me... years ago i would have never guessed this, but honestly, this is the best year of my life. i am so happy to know, love, and grow older with scott.

Merry Christmas.

post moving reflections

well, i've found a new home in Chicago.

for a long time, it didn't feel like home. the walls were bare, the furniture unbuilt, the space, well, it was just space.

i can honestly say that i finally feel at home here.

i'm not here a whole lot, but when i am, i like it. it's fun to explore a new neighborhood. i was so used to the same people, the same stores, the same restaurants, the same "things..."

it's been a dreary fall. i LOVE fall, and i LOVE fall in chicago, but this fall has just been depressing. for a month straight it rained. as much as you try to not let it affect your attitude, it does...

anyway, it was sunny today. and 60. and all at once i remembered what i love so very much about this city. the energy. the closeness. the way that you feel, when, even though you don't know a single person you're walking by, you're all city people, you're all in the same boat, you're all human.

i love that about this city.

i never thought i'd feel at home somewhere else. i left my old place and it felt strange saying goodbye to three years of my life.... but i guess now i realize, they're just years. happiness is happiness, and it has nothing to do with how old you are, or where you lay your hat.

and well, i'm happy. so so so happy.

i couldn't be more thankful for everything and everyone in my life.

moving

i'm down to less than a week in my apartment.

it's weird, as ready as i am for a new place, and more space... and as excited i am about the new place i found, i'm sad to be packing and leaving. i was almost asleep tonight (of course, when i should have been packing, i was laying in bed) and i made myself walk to starbucks to wake up so that i could get some packing done.

and i guess on the way there, i kind of thought about my familiar places that won't be so familiar anymore. it's funny what you get attached to. the things that stand out for me are: that starbucks, and i don't even like starbucks that much--but there's something about it, the homeless guy that i always say hi to on the corner, my favorite mexican restaurant, and, believe it or not, the 7-11 workers that always wave to me, and some of the bars that remind me of my first year of city life. haha. i know those seem like funny familiarities, but i guess it's interesting what you get attached to in three years of living somewhere.

lots of good times in this neighborhood. i would stay another year if i had a little more room. it's treated me well.

i remember my first night sleeping here. i remember that my apartment was put together, but it didn't feel like home at all. my stuff was all new, and i wasn't a city girl at all. there was nothing even slightly resembling home for me in apartment 301. i actually remember sitting up in my bed that night, and writing, and hearing the noises out my window... half full of excitement for the next chapter of my life, but half scared too. and i remember that i didn't sleep that well because i wasn't quite at home yet.

it's funny to think about that now, because as much as i'm sick of this place and ready to move on, and have a bigger apartment, it's definitely home. it feels like home when i walk in the door. there's a sense of relief about a place that feels like home, even if it's not your ideal home... it's home. that feeling of walking in the door after a long day, and throwing your bag down, and just sitting down at home - it's not the same anywhere else.

and i'm very excited for a new neighborhood, and a new home. but i also know that there will be that whole getting acquainted phase again, and probably another night of thinking and writing in my bed, and a month or two of making the place seem like home. but, it will get there. and once again, i'm excited for this next chapter. chicago has treated me well and i'm excited to explore a new part of it.

and now i'm going to stop writing and start putting the past three years of my life into boxes. it's been fun 1117.

bus story

usually the bus is pretty quiet. people mind their own business for the most part. in fact, i would say in all of my time in Chicago i could probably count the conversations i've had while utilizing public transportation on a single hand. people just usually aren't in the mood.

i talked to the woman sitting next to me today, and it really got me thinking.

i was taking the bus home as usual, and hanging up the phone with Scott and the woman next to me wanted to know how i liked my phone. she was thinking of getting her son an iphone soon. i talked a little about the phone and other such polite stranger conversation.

then she looked at me and said "so, what are you having for dinner?" and i was caught a little offguard. i mean, i didn't mind her asking, i was just caught offguard by the unnatural sense of friendliness while riding the CTA. it just doesn't happen usually. "i have no idea. i haven't even thought about it." and she told me she was just trying to get ideas... we got quiet again and she looked at me and said, "Are you a teacher?" and i sort of laughed to myself and said, "No. I think I should have been though." and we continued to talk about Scott being a teacher, and other such things... but i thought about that the whole walk home, and a lot of the night.

i know the conversation isn't earth shattering or anything. maybe it's not even interesting to anyone else, but to me, it was shocking, and somewhat of a sign. i've been looking into programs lately to go into teaching. i'm not entirely sure i'm ready to do the school thing again, and gosh, switching career paths again scares me to death... but there is this part of me, this voice in the back of my head that's telling me it's what i was supposed to do. i remember that i wanted to teach from the day i could talk. i played school every single day. on scholastic aptitude tests when it asks your future profession, from grade 1, i wrote "teacher." i majored in elementary education at purdue for 2 years before i switched my major. i mean, i'm not making this stuff up. and it was just funny timing. here, i just completed my MBA. and don't get me wrong, i love marketing and i have a definite interest in it - but i still wonder about teaching all of the time. i guess it never really left me. i've been thinking about it even more since i graduated, and even found a good, reasonable quick program if i want to pursue it.

so, i don't know. it was just kind of funny to hear that from a stranger. people influence me so much. i left that woman on the bus, wished her a good evening, and got home and thought about my future career all night. it's just interesting - i guess you never know how you are going to affect someone with your words. i mean, i don't know what it means that i look like a teacher to that woman, maybe nothing. but maybe it was just what i needed, too.

summer 09

i haven't written anything in a really long time. that isn't to say i haven't thought about it now and then, but things have been busy and life has been well so i haven't been thinking too hard.

i've had the best summer. it has seriously been the perfect summer. i want to explain it and describe it, but i'm afraid i won't be able to do it justice. i've gone to some great concerts, spent some wonderful weekends in Michigan with Scott and sometimes with his family. i've worked less, worried less, and took more time to enjoy my friends, my family, my great boyfriend, and the awesome city of Chicago.

looking back on this summer of course, it went way too fast.

i'm grateful every single day, multiple times per day that i know scott. i know it might sound cliche, or corny, or whatever you want to call it... but i find it hard to believe that there was a time in my life when i didn't know him. it doesn't seem possible. i'm so lucky that i've found someone like him who is truly my best friend. we have so much fun together... but he's also my rock.

and on my worst day, and my best day - he's the person i want to tell about it because i know he will either make me feel better on the bad days, or celebrate with me on the good days. i'm so incredibly lucky to have found someone like him. it's weird to think about life before all of this: i mean, i know i was happy and i know i had a life, but it just seems weird to remember that he wasn't a part of it. i can't imagine a day without him now and i couldn't be happier than when i am with him.

in not so exciting news, things have been hard for me lately with the whole job search thing. i graduated about three months ago, and i have been looking and applying since a little before graduation. i've gone on some interviews, had several phone interviews, and i am sending my resume out every day. it's so tough right now. i know that i need to not take it personally when things don't work out, but i guess being the sensitive natured person that i am, i can't help but take it personally. there are days where i'm constantly asking myself - what is wrong with me? i'm educated, motivated, and personable and i just can't seem to find anything. that being said, i know it takes time. and i know i'll find something... but it's been pretty hard for me to stay level headed. i know that i have to remember that i'm doing my best, and realize that any job that doesn't come through isn't a good fit. and that there is a lot of competition out there... and most importantly, that it's not a personal attack. these companies are interviewing who knows how many people - it's pretty tough to stick out right now. i swear, finding a job is the most trying, unrewarding process in the entire world. it takes so much time, energy, dedication, and the payoff takes a long time. but, there will be a payoff, and patience is key. sometimes i'm not as good at being patient as i would like to be.

the other day i was having one of those days... where i'm kind of focusing on everything negative in my life. i know better than to do that most of the time, but i think everyone has those days where it just seems like it won't stop. i'm thinking things like... i worked so hard in school, and i can't find a job. my car is broken. my apartment is too small. you know, everything i can possibly think of that is bad... and then, i get off the train at the paulina brown line stop, and i see a man searching through the garbage for something to eat. that was a big reality check for me. i couldn't help but feel guilty about the pity party i was having for myself for the 20 minutes prior to seeing him. i guess it's important to remember that it could always be worse. it's hard when you have expectations for yourself, but i can pretty much guarantee you i'll never be in that guy's situation in my entire life.

that shut me up pretty quick.

i'll be moving before october, so that's exciting. i'm pretty sure i'm going to move north, and definitely sure i am going to get a bigger place. my apartment has been good to me, but i think that my collection of "stuff" is outgrowing a studio apartment at this point. and well, i'm getting older. when i first moved downtown, this was plenty of space for me. now, it seems way too small. so, the move will be exciting. a new neighborhood,a new place, more room. i can't wait.

all in all, i have to say... life has been good.

this year's love

i knew that someday my favorite song would mean more to me than beautiful lyrics. i knew that someday, i'd come across the right guy and i'd actually understand and feel the lyrics, rather than just admire them.

i'm a lucky girl.

you know, i swear i have never been one of those girls that spent their whole life looking for love. i always sort of believed that it would just happen when the time was right. i'm a strong believer in the fact that if you look too hard for something, you're going to settle for the wrong thing. well,  27 years later, i'm glad i stuck to my instincts. 

you know, i'll admit for awhile it was a little discouraging when everyone was settling down and i knew that i was a good person with a lot to offer, and i just wasn't meeting the right guy.  i'll admit it that when i had my heart broken a couple of times, i wanted to give up. and i'll admit it that nights got lonely a lot of the time. 

none of that matters now.

i can not even begin to explain how much my life has changed in a matter of months. i know some people would, and maybe even do, say that i'm crazy. you know what i say? i don't care. i have never been this happy in my entire life. i can't even believe this is my life right now. it's more than anything i ever imagined. i've always been sensitive, i've always been somewhat of a romantic, and i guess i always had the hope that i'd fall in love... but never the expectation. i think that i've lived by a phrase my entire life, "hope for the best, but expect the worst." a bit of a realist, sure. but you have to be when you don't know what's going to happen.

the point of all of my midnight rambling is this - i am positive i have never been this happy in my entire life. i am certain that i have met the love of my life. i have never had so much in common with someone. never met someone that can make me laugh and have a serious conversation with me within the same ten minutes. someone who accepts me for who i am. someone i want to call at the end of the day, whether i had the best day of my life, or whether i'm ready to give up. someone who would be there for me the second i said i needed him. 

i know this is all so sappy, and i don't know what to say to excuse myself. because it's the way i feel. all of the sudden all of those songs don't seem so silly, all of those movies don't seem so "far fetched." and love doesn't seem so surreal or impossible. 

i'm so happy. i've never been so happy. 

a good friend of mine told me recently, "Love isn't hard." and i couldn't agree more. looking back at my life, and how much i tried to believe in love, it's sad to look back at that. it's hard to remember that, because none of it was real. now i know what's real. it's not hard. it shouldn't be hard. 

you know, i've loved the song "this year's love" since it came out, when i was a senior in high school. i remember hearing it, playing it on repeat, and loving the lyrics. as i got older, i knew i wanted it to be in my wedding, if i ever got married. and now, i know that this year's love for me, is 2009. 

couldn't be happier.

first of all... i am officially done with school. i don't graduate until saturday... but tonight i did my final presentation and i can't even believe the thought of not having homework. i feel so good.

secondly... i am pretty sure that i have the best boyfriend in the world. 

everything has been perfect. i can't even explain it, i don't want to sound so sentimental but i'll just say i've never felt like this in my entire life. i'm so happy. he 

makes me so happy. 

i went on a whim and invited him to christine's wedding, which is in amelia island, FL at the end of the month. i figured it was pretty much going on a limb as we haven't known each other all that long and well, it's across the country. and it looked like things weren't going to work out. flights were expensive, etc etc etc. 

last night he came over and asked me if i wanted my graduation present. graduation present? i have not even graduated yet! i told him he did not 

need to get me anything... and he responded, "well, it's something you need." finally, after going back and forth a few times, i said i would open it.

i opened it, and here's what i found. 

funny story about this... i have been saying for awhile how i want to learn how to cook a turkey. random, i know... but i just feel like i know how to cook a lot of things and not a turkey? 

after further googling, i found out that you need to have a meat thermometer? i was like "a meat thermometer, who has one of those??" 

and so, i thought it was clever, thought it was cute that he remembered, and i laughed.

then i opened my card.

it's one of those song cards from hallmark... and i listened to the song, and i thanked him and i was about to put it back in the envelope... and he asked me "do you ever play with these cards, and see how the music works?" and i said "what?" and then he showed me the middle of the card where you can do that... i started to play with it and he said "wait, is something in there?" (the piece of paper in the picture was not sticking out that much at the time) and i looked... and...

yes, he booked his flight to florida. without telling me. and talked to christine and submitted his informal RSVP to the wedding. 

i'm still in shock and i feel like this is all surreal. i have never known someone so thoughtful in my entire life... and i feel like last night was a dream. i know that all sounds so sappy and silly, but it's really how i feel.

i'm still waiting for someone to wake me up.

and i am so excited to spend a weekend in florida with my favorite guy. 

i'm so lucky. 

best graduation ever.

distraction

i logged onto google reader today and i had 250 unread posts. the most i've ever seen that number escalate to is maybe 30. 

okay, so i've been a bit distracted. 

gotten a little less reading done, finding shortcuts in homework more than usual, talked to my parents a little less.

all for a good reason though. i guess logging into google reader made me actually realize how absent i've been.

i met a really good guy. good, down-to-earth, fun, positive, happy, dedicated, has his life together, sort of guy. we've spent a crazy amount of time together in the past two weeks and it's  been nothing but fun. i'm loving every minute of this and i feel extremely lucky. 

we have a good thing going right now. it's awesome. we're on the same page about almost everything and we are just literally taking it a day at a time and enjoying each other's company. it's exactly what i have always wanted. i've been walking around with my chin up for a few weeks now and smiling more than usual. things have changed in the past few weeks, but there is no doubt in my mind that it's for the better. 

i don't want to sound all mushy and silly, but i guess i am going to and i guess that is what happens when you are into someone. i'll just say this - when i wake up, i want to talk to him. when i go to sleep, i want to say goodnight first. i want to know how his day is going. i want him to be happy all of the time and i want to do whatever i can to make him happy. all of this happened really fast, but i'm at a point now where i don't feel like a day is complete until i talk to him and hear about his day. it's a ton of emotions that i don't really think i've ever totally felt before and i have been so unbelievably happy. 

this guy is a sweetheart--down to the root definition of the word. he wants to make sure that i am safe. he wants to make sure that i am happy. he wants to spend time with me whenever our schedules allow it. he wants to surprise me and he wants to talk whenever we can. i could tell from the day that i met him that he is a genuine, caring person. he literally had me from hello.

i debated about writing this on my blog, but i guess i feel like the point of my writing is that i want to remember how things feel. i love looking back at this thing and reading old posts... even if they're sad, because it takes me right back to that moment. the power of words is crazy. i can literally get right back in a moment by reading my thoughts if i write them i the present. and so, i felt like it would be cheating myself and this great thing i have going right now if i didn't write about it.

anyway, life has been the best it has been for me in a long time. maybe ever. i'm crazy about this kid, and i think he's crazy about me... and i am just really excited for whatever comes next. i have a feeling it's going to be a great summer!

life

after attending a funeral today, of someone i knew in high school, i feel so compelled to write.

life is such a wonderful, but strange thing... i just wish everyone could live forever.

today was very hard for me. to see, someone i knew who had passed away far too young, ready to go to rest.

i guess the strongest thing i felt was that life is so so fragile. it's something i don't understand, something i will probably never understand.

danielle spoke beautifully today. she talked about good times with amanda, growing up with her, being young, free, and timeless. i was never that upset until i put it into my own terms--losing someone you were and are so very close to. it's not right. i can't imagine if i were in the same situation, not at all. 

but, i think if something came out of this at all it is that you have to treasure people in your life. sure, people disagree, or they're on a different page than you are. so what? all of that is small stuff. it's scary how much we all take each other for granted. i just hope this is and was a learning experience for me, and everyone else. and that we need to remember the little things, sometimes the littlest things and realize how very lucky we are to have our health, happiness, youth, and freedom...

RIP Amanda, we will all miss you very much. thanks for being in our lives.

writing

my grandmother was a writer. she kept a diary her entire life and dreamed of publishing a book someday. i'd like to think that she was my influence, but unfortunately i learned this about her far too late in her life.

life is too short.

i was in college when she passed away. my parents moved back from LA when she was sick to take care of her and moved into her little house with her until the bitter end. i came home one weekend from school, and she was a different person than i remembered. she had lost her incredible memory, her wit, but she still had her passion, and her love for crossword puzzles.

i came home, which wasn't exactly home for me; but i understood why it was home at the time. and i remember how confused she was. she wasn't sure who i was. she recognized me, but she wasn't sure why. and my dad drew her a crossword puzzle with things about me (for example, down 1 was purdue, across 4 was blue--for the color of my eyes). it didn't work.

what's interesting is she did remember that i loved to write. and that was the last coherent conversation i had with her. her memory, boggled, still knew that i wanted to write. i will never forget that day - she told me she wanted me to have all of her diaries. i still don't have them because of all of the moving and confusion that happened after she was gone, but i look forward to discovering them someday.

i have the same sort of thing. i have kept a diary since i was in the sixth grade. and since the whole "blog" era, i have done this instead. it's an amazing thing to know that i'll be able to pass on my words, my life, someday after i am gone. i know it's probably a long way away, but i'm glad i've kept some sort of a legacy. i'm sure she would have said the same.

i miss you, grandma lanie. thank you for your wisdom and all that you left me with. 

wordle.net

I went to Wordle.net and made these images from my blog. You can either put in a website (I used my blog) or you can just put in words on your own... it puts them in these shapes. I think it's pretty cool :)

things

so it's official:

2 more finals, and 3 more classes, and i'll have my degree. i can't believe the end is in sight. i'm getting very excited, but trying not to get too distracted. i want to end on a good note.

it's weird - it's bittersweet. i love school and i actually think when i graduate i'll miss learning and going to class. i told my family recently that i wish it was acceptable to be a lifelong student (and get paid for it) haha. i think that's my calling sometimes. either way, it will be nice to not have projects weighing on me and to see what's in store for me in the world of marketing... it's exciting, but i've still got 3 more months before i get too excited.

i graduate in exactly three months from today!

other good news: i became an aunt, and my brother became a father to a beautiful little boy named Will on Jan 27. he was born very healthy and i have yet to have the time to meet him :( school and work are really keeping me busy, but i can't wait to get out there and meet my new nephew. it's a really cool feeling to have a new generation around. i got really emotional about it one day, i just think it's so great to watch a new life come into the world and watch them grow up... how exciting.

From Will

From Will

From Will

that's all for now i guess, just felt like haven't written in awhile.

the best email

every once in awhile i'll send my parents a link to something i wrote... not my entire blog or anything but if it's a reflection on the holidays or something i'm particularly proud of writing for some reason, i'll pass it along. anyways, i sent the christmas post to my mom and dad. usually i don't hear back from them. i know they're just busy. if i do, it's usually a one liner... so of course, it caught me by surprise to get this email on monday morning in response... but in the best way possible.

great words for the new year.
and once again i am realizing how lucky i am in my own life and how grateful i am for everything that i have, especially amazing parents.

i'd be in a much different world without them, i know that for certain.

from my dad, january 5, 2009.

Amy,

So it's back to work and the short-lived unfamiliar has quickly become familiar again. Phone calls, emails, sales opportunities... blah, blah, blah. It was in the middle of catching up when I came across your email, and it reminded me, again, as to how fortunate we are to have you as our daughter.

Thank you for the note, the sentiment, but most of all your everlasting awareness and appreciation for all that is around you: places, events, people, the experience of life..Fr. Reagan, one of my high school teachers, used to repeat over and over, "time is what's happening while you are waiting for something to happen." In others words make the most of the moment, and you certainly know how to do that. In fact you make the moments happen.

It was nice being with you over the holidays. The annual trek to "A Christmas Carol" started the season off in perfect seasonal tradition. Thank you for taking us. The season would not be complete without a visit with Scrooge, Tiny Tim, and all the spirits. Best of all, we were able to share it together.

Home should reflect this season and always represent love, safe haven, and acceptance. Decorated or not the door is always open and we look forward to your next visit. The line in a Christmas Carol, "...(Christmas) is a time, of all others, when want is keenly felt, and abundance rejoices." carries a message that, at first, seems all too obvious. When you think about it, it could refer to spiritual beliefs, social awareness, or the need for family and friends. Home is abundant with love and is there to be shared with all who want to partake.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

See you soon,

Love,

Dad

a new year

i think new years is one of my favorite holidays. to me it just kind of wipes the slate clean and gives you a fresh start. sure, it's just another day, but it always seems to invoke that feeling.

i brought in the new year with my best friend, anne, her husband, and another couple. it was a good time. i found myself reflecting at midnight on the happenings of the last year, and well, a lot has changed since last year. and honestly - i think it's all for the better. i had a hard time finding anything negative about starting over this year- in fact, it seems like quite the opportunity.

as for resolutions, i tried making them a few years ago, and what i found out is that when i make a list of some strict criteria, i just don't stick to it. so, my resolution is to keep being myself and striving for self improvement where necessary. i'm going to leave it like that. i don't feel that anything is completely unresolved this year, which is an excellent feeling.

the past couple of days, i've really appreciated the ordinary more than normal. one day i was looking at my fridge, which is literally covered in christmas cards, and i know they're just christmas cards, but i thought - "wow, that many people are in my life." and that's a pretty amazing feeling. i think sometimes it's easy to take things like that for granted because you just expect things to stay that way, but: i know that everyone doesn't have that. i know that not everyone is happy with themselves, their accomplishments, their goals, their home--and i'm so lucky to be happy with all of those things.

i feel like i'm really figuring it out as i get older. i know it's an age old saying that you get wiser as you get older, but i really don't think that's true for everyone. life is what you make of it. if you're not able to look back at your flaws and accomplishments and be your own worst critic, well, you're not going to learn anything. it's important to recognize moments of weakness and moments of strength, and grow from them accordingly, and i really think i do that.

so, 2009... let's see. i will graduate this year with a masters degree. i'm going to study in Rome! i'll be in the same apartment until at least October in a city that i love. i'm going to become an aunt in a few weeks! i'm going to visit one of my best friends from college in california in february. three of my good friends are getting married. it's already looking like such a promising year, and i really think i'm starting it off on the right foot.

last year was a little different, i kind of forgot to even reflect on the new year, i was too into the boyfriend and such. it was kind of nice to have a little more "me" time this year and get a sense of clarity, and really be able to focus on my own life without the distractions. it's refreshing.

2008 was a good year for the most part, but i'm going to make 2009 even better.
happy new years!