chin up

it's my favorite time of year.

the only time of the year i find myself looking around, smiling while walking around, thinking about life and the city and everything else wonderful.

fall.

i don't know what it is. i love the fall. everything about it. the fact that you can wear a sweater and flip flops at the same time. the colors. the smell. the crisp air without a coat. sleeping with the windows open. pumpkins. festivals. leaf piles. knowing that family time and holidays are around the corner. i love it all.

the first perfect day of the year to me, is the day you can leave the house in all of your favorite clothes, at once. not worrying about whether you'll be cold or hot. i love that. short sleeves, long sleeves, sandals, or socks, you're good.

i left my place this morning, and it was just one of those perfect mornings. i woke up about a half hour before my alarm went off and while usually i'd go back to bed, today i felt energized and got up. i love it when i do that. it's so nice to get ready and not be rushed, or tired. and know that you have that extra twenty minutes or so to run to starbucks or take a walk or read part of your book in the morning. i love it and i'm glad i don't do it every day, because i wouldn't appreciate that extra half hour... and time moves too fast to not appreciate a half hour once in awhile.

so this morning i got up. i got ready. i threw on a turtleneck, jeans, and flip flops... stopped at starbucks for a coffee. made a to do list. walked around chin up looking around me and just thinking about how very much i loved that moment.

not to be pessimistic, but let's just say we all know it's only weeks away when the frigid cold comes. you know what i notice the most? in the winter, it's depressing, not only because it's freezing, but because everyone walks with their head down. it's like the social aspect of the city is gone. there's no more eye contact with strangers. no more friendly morning hellos to the people you pass or the bus driver. it's just too cold to look around. and there's so much to see.

alright, enough about weather and seasons...

the past few months have been good to me. i've started working again, and maybe even too much because i'm so busy now. but, i like it. i had too much down time, i realized, and it's not good for me. i'm so much happier when i'm busy, productive, and at the end of the day, tired. i had forgotten, but i really missed all of those things in my life.

i'm not in school right now (for just this quarter) simply because i'm adjusting to these new responsibilities, and time constraints. but i'll start up again in early november. according to my advisor, i should graduate approximately one year from now. it's been pushed back a bit due to multiple things (having to drop a class, opting out this quarter, etc) but i'm fine with it. i'd rather take my time and take it all in. i love school, and i get so much more out of it when i have it in the right balance. there was a time when i was working 50 + hours a week, and taking 12 credit hours. it doesn't sound impossible, i know, but i just wasn't enjoying school, and that's not like me. i'd rather enjoy my classes, take my time, and graduate three months later than i thought i would.

and then... the big news. i've decided that i want to teach. i'm going back and forth about what to do about this. i contacted a lot of illinois schools with great MEd programs... but i don't know. something about getting another masters seems like backtracking to me, so right now i'm looking at phD programs. i've decided on this for a number of reasons: first, i've always wanted to teach college more than i've wanted to teach high school, middle school, or el ed. the reason for this? i know that i want to teach english. and not just teach english, but i want to teach it to students that want to learn english. not the langage necessarily, or linguistics, or grammar specifics... but studying literature. the written word. writing.

i want them to love it. to live it like i do. to think like a writer. to read like an author. and, i think to get those kind of students, you need to go to the higher level.

anyways, that's the plan for now. we'll see. so far i've only looked into programs in austin... and UT Austin has an awesome phD education program. i can't apply until i've completed my masters... so we'll see. but let's just say i'm not excluding the possibility of moving. i wouldn't move just anywhere, afterall, i love chicago too much to abandon it for a city less satisfying, but i'll say this--the first time i landed in austin, i thought (which i rarely think), "I could live here." and it's been in the back of my mind since. part of me, a big part, thinks i should live somewhere else for awhile. after all, i know where i'll end up (chicago). so why not? but, that's a year down the road, so i guess right now it could be considered "an idea."

enjoy this weather. and the season. it's only a few weeks long, afterall.

chin up.