completely content

you ever have one of those moments when you just realize you're completely content with everything around you? i mean, everything, down to the music, your peripheral vision, your company, background noise, weather, the whole scenerio. i love that. when you just think for a second... life is really something else.

it can amaze me sometimes. how easy it is to get upset over petty little things when in fact there are times like that and you just kinda see your life in front of you and think "none of that really matters." strange how the smallest of things can and do feel so heavy sometimes. but life always goes on... and the little problems just seem to get littler with time.

i'm so unbelievably happy lately. i mean seriously, sincerely happy. i have somehow landed a great job with a great, understanding, and patient boss. i am finally back in my hometown, living at home... which a lot of people mind. i don't. for a couple of reasons. one, because i'm literally never here. i come home, eat dinner, talk online, and go to sleep to get up for work again. two, i really enjoy my room. and three, most importantly i think, i have seriously developed a friendship with my parents. they trust me, they let me do what i want to do, and they take care of me. it's really not all that bad. i mean, i lived on my own for 4.5 years, it's not all so bad to come home to someone who cooks you dinner... for the time being anyways.

in the back of my mind too, somber as this may sound, i kinda feel like why not live at home now... i mean my parents are getting older you know, and once i move out, i move out. why not spend another year in close quarters with them? why not hang on to youth a little longer? i guess i'm kind of scared to leave them... because in a way, that's it.

i mean i feel the whole independence thing, you know. i want to get out and be on my own. just not immediately. i feel like i have the rest of my life to do that, and if things are pretty good here and i'm saving a bunch of money, really, what's the rush? i enjoy naperville. i maybe do\n't love the hour - hour and a half drive to work - but i really enjoy my living situation.

aside from all of those things i have future goals to go to graduate school at loyola, which is an incredible deal in itself (because its free). i don't know when but i know i want it to happen, and that's enough for me. no need to rush things. i'm happy. really. i love my friends.i love that i've realized at age 23 who i'll know for the rest of my life, who the real friends are... i love my family. i love the people that i know, i love that i really have gotten to really know myself and understand who i am, and i really like my adult lifestyle. sounds silly maybe but i'm completley at peace in my surroundings...

it's not all so bad after college :)
i mean, i still miss our apartment, but 10 months after graduation i can say... i'm happy.