truths

i know that the reason i wear my grandmother's perfume isn't because i like the smell...but because i didn't cry enough when she died. i know that i hold on to fictional nothings because i'm so entirely scared of being by myself forever. i know that the reason i stay up so late at night is because i can't accept that i'm not perfect. i know that there are a lot of things i probably should have let go of years ago that i still can't let go of. i know that i frame pictures so that i don't forget that people love me. i know that i will not be okay for a long time after my parents pass away. i know that in my life, i have certainly overreacted to some situations that i will never be humble enough to apologize for. i know that right now i think i've corrected myself but in ten years i'll think i was stupid right now. i think that when i get everything right, it will be too late to use it.