here's to anne

you ever know somebody that just feels like home to you?
someone that you can just let that game of pretend go with and let your guard down and
just be... you?

that comfort that somebody knows you so well and still loves you is like a drug. like this perfect utopia, that in this hectic day and age and lifestyle, you can let loose and just be... because that is the way that they like you.

now the term best friend. that's a term i use, but sort of hate. because it reminds me back to the middle school days of "whos your best friend" and all of that business. but okay, some people just meet and they just connect and from the beginning they just know that they crossed paths for a reason. that their adventure has just begun. that they are going to know each other awhile.

i met my best friend when i was a freshman in high school. it's kinda crazy, we met through a mutual friend, but within a week we were completing each others sentences. it was the sort of thing where you think you share a mind. we had a lot of good years. went to different colleges. had a lot of good times in between those years.

and now she's getting married and moving away. i'm so happy for her - but at the same time - i'm so sad to lose her, does that make sense? it's strange that this time is over you know, being young and single, hanging out and singing in the car, going to bars, no responsibilities, no worries, just youth... it's like i'm losing a little part of me, but i'm so happy for her husband and her because they are both gaining so much.

i don't want to sound selfish, it just saddens me a little. a chapter's over, you know? it's like leaving for college again except this time, for life... and i've never had a friend who made me feel so confident, so sure of myself, so worthwhile... and left feeling like i've owed her nothing. she is one of the strongest people i have ever met in my life and she is a huge part of the person that i am. i'm sad to see her go, even though, i know i'm not losing her.

today we walked away from a restaurant, like we've done a million times you know and she's like "i'll see you before i leave right?" and before that i was okay... but then i got in my car and im thinking gosh from now on it's going to be "we're coming to visit" and "do you want to meet us somewhere" and not that that's a bad thing, it's just that when you've spent 10 years knowing someone since we were dumb kids, it's kinda hard to believe.

but in any case, here's to anne. for the best of years, now and then.
i know she will never read this (without someone elses recommendation)
but in any case - thanks for how much you've helped me grow, how much you've taught me, and how much you mean to me.