Wednesday, April 09, 2008

i'm sitting in my apartment right now on a rainy night in chicago, listening to my newest cd, jackson browne solo acoustic volume 2. it's a perfect night for a cd like this. it's reflective, it's honest, and the lyrics are amazing. i've always loved music more on rainy days... there's something about it.

still interviewing. trying to find the right fit. i'm hanging in there. i know i'll find a good job, i just know it. :) whenever i need to lift my spirits i read my last post, because it's absolutely true. and i guess it's easy to get lost in the scheme of things sometimes, so rereading yourself think is something i can be very grateful for. 

i should say, due to last posts, that dean and i are through. the best i can make of it is that some things just aren't meant to be. and hey, it's always better to find that out sooner than later. i won't go into detail, but i'll just say that i still think he's a good person and our situations just weren't right. i watched cast away a few weeks ago, and i remembered a post i wrote years ago about that movie. i really love that movie. i mean, i hate the duration of it. i hate the hour on the island that gets kind of boring. but, i love the premise. that kelly kept him alive on that island. and the end, well, it's sad. and he comes home and realizes she was married after she had kept him alive that whole time on that island. but, as with anything, his life went on, and that's how the movie ends. i still love that quote that says, "I know what I need to do now, I need to keep breathing. Because tomorrow, the sun will rise." it's so true. we all have our own definitions of "the end of the world." but the truth is, that's all in our heads. there is so much that this world has to offer me, you, all of us. and, i seem to keep using these cliche phrases, but its really true that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. or, as robert frost said "In three words I can sum up what I know about life... it goes on." and it does. it always does. 

i'm happier than i've been in awhile. maybe that's just what i needed you know? to know that it wouldn't work, rather than to wonder. or to hope that maybe, someday, who knows? maybe it will. but i'm not staying up all night anymore. and i'm not crying or feeling bad for myself. i'm moving forward. it's a great thing. 

anyways, just wanted to post. and, i have to put these lyrics on here simply because i think they're the most amazing written words i've ever seen/heard. jackson browne is an amazing lyricist. i look up to anyone that can write the way he does.