you sounded so good on the phone

you sounded so good on the phone

all moved up, and all moved on

me and gravity--we never did agree.

i can almost see the sky,

when i need to close my eyes--

you're the only thing that's worth holding on to.

there's something i love about having candles lit at nightime and writing. it inspires me, i don't know if that's because it's supposed to. but it does.

i've found that if you fill your room with little trinkets that feel like home to you, that make you comfortable in your surroundings, whether it be a unique vase, or pictures of friends, or just a cozy blanket... they kind of make you feel like your space is occupied, so you feel just a little less alone. i'm aware that might sound crazy--but really, i think it's true.

i stay up entirely too late. it's when things come to me though. it's the only time i am able to put my crazy thoughts in words good enough to keep. and sometimes, not even that.

wouldn't the world be a little different if we just did exactly what we felt? some people do i guess. i don't. sometimes i wish i could do that. well, i could. sometimes i wish i would do that. i've become much better at speaking my mind though--both regarding the way i feel about things and the way i want things done. that's something i can say i've definitely improved on.

can't believe we're already like 10% through the new year... seriously, where does time go? i still have to think about it when i write down my age... sometimes i guess i just don't feel 24.

they had my cousin's story on a & e tonight. it was a long time ago, almost 2 years, but i'm honestly sick of bad things happening to good people. i have a hard time justfiying that. i need some answers. i want to know why babies die and murderers live...you know? it's something i struggle with everyday--not that exact scenerio, but you get what i'm saying. i'm not one that does good with "just because." or "that's the way it is." why? i need to know why.

do you ever feel like you're going to be alone for the rest of your life? i do. it's a scary thing to think about. that could be a really, really, long time from now. i guess you have to know that you can make it on your own, without wanting to still--does that make sense?

and i guess you never know. but the possibility...scary.
i get bored way too easily to spend the rest of my life alone. :)

anyways, goodnight.