cast away was on abc tonight. i usually hate watching movies on tv because of the commercials, but i really had nothing better to do, so i watched it (for the third or fourth time). at the end of the movie, i realized that it was exactly what i needed to see to say what i've been wanting to say, right. i love the end of this movie - because it's sad but more importantly, it's very real. this man is away on an island for seven years, and a smaller-than-wallet-sized picture is keeping him alive. for seven years, that was the only hope he had, that little picture. and i'm sure in the back of his mind he thought that one day he'd get home and things would pick up just where they left off. that's what it feels like when you're away.
the truth is people move on. she moved on. he was there on an island waiting to go home to the woman he loved, and when he got home, she had a husband, and kids. and still loved him. but had a new life now. it makes sense, you have to move on. you can't just pause your life in hopes that some miracle will happen. and maybe it will. but you can't count on it.
i related to this whole aspect. when the only thing you know that is real is far away. and you hold on to it and expect time to just freeze, right there, right where you left off. stop at that hug before they get on a plane. and pick up with another hug when they get off a few years later. and for a long time, for years, i've really truly believed and convinced myself that this is what happens. it hit about a week ago that it's actually not at all. that people have to go on with their own lives, and that people are different. i mean, some are able to do that easier. some are able to just say, ok, next chapter, let's go! it's good. it's healthy. but it's hard to accept.
and i guess saying you've been forgotten is a little too harsh. and to say you've been replaced is kind of the same. it's not that. it's just realizing you're not part of someone's immediate life anymore. and you know for a fact they didn't mean any harm by it, it was just natural, part of human existence. your immediate life becomes your surroundings, and well, when you're not in any sort of proximity with someone anymore, it's hard to remember that they once were. it's so human.
at the end of the movie he wants to be with her and then theres a second where he realizes that she has to go home. she has a husband inside, and children. and they love each other, but she has to go home. and he lets her walk inside, and he drives away.
and then later, talking to a friend he explains what went on on that island. he explains why he stayed alive. and this is what hit me.
"And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
that's what i need to do too. i need to, upon this realization, keep breathing. i need to let go. to take over my own life. i know it's going to take time, but i know what i have to do. and after all, i'm only 24... i have a lot of life ahead of me. tomorrow, the sun will rise. who knows what the tide could bring in?
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